Forgiveness: A Radical Act of Self-Healing

Forgiveness: A Radical Act of Self-Healing
TDAH! Blog by Polly Hamp

Let’s be clear:
I don’t forgive because they apologized.
I forgive… because I deserve to heal.

Forgiveness is often misunderstood. We think it’s something we give to others when they “deserve” it. But here at TDAH!, we think differently. Forgiveness isn’t a reward for someone else’s behavior—it’s a release for your nervous system, your thoughts, your heart.

I forgive, not because they changed or said sorry in the right way (or at all).
I forgive so I can stop carrying their pain in my body.

Why I Forgive

• I forgive because forgiveness releases me from their pain.

• I forgive and choose—on my terms—whether I stay in relationship with them or not.

• I forgive based on their consistent behavior, not just their apology.

• If the behavior doesn’t change, I still forgive—but I may choose to release them from my life.

• Forgiveness is me surrendering them from my thoughts and nervous system.

• Forgiveness is me revoking their access to my emotional state.

• They are responsible for their own behavior. Forgiveness is not permission to keep harming me.

I forgive them—for me.
I forgive them—for my own healing.
I forgive them. Period.

The Forgiveness Process

Let’s walk through it together. This isn’t about pretending nothing happened. This is about liberation—yours.

Step 1: Choose Someone (For the first time start slow. Pick someone and something that's not GIANT and scary)
Think of the person you would like to forgive. I say “like” because let’s be honest—sometimes we don’t feel like they deserve it. But remember:
Forgiveness isn’t for them.
It’s for you.
To heal your mind, body, and spirit.
To finally be free from the grip of their harm.

Step 2: Picture Them in Front of You
Take a deep breath. Visualize them sitting across from you. (Remember, they aren't really there and you're safe!) 

Now, give an honest account of the ways they hurt you.
(You can write this out beforehand if it helps.)

Say it out loud:

“When you did ___________, I felt ___________.”

Example:

“When you yelled at me in front of my friends, I felt humiliated and enraged.”

As you name each harm, notice where you feel it in your body.
Is it in your chest? Your gut? Your throat?

Now—pull it out.
Yes, imagine pulling the offense and the emotion out of your body and handing it to them.

Watch them take it from you.

Step 3: Speak Your Freedom
After your list is complete, say:

“Today I choose to forgive you. I no longer hold any of this to your account.”

Then hand them over—
To God, The Divine, your Creator.

Say:

“I choose to forgive them. I choose to no longer carry their pain and harm. I hand them over to You.”

Watch as God, The Divine, or your Creator—takes them.

Step 4: Forgive Yourself
Put your hand on your heart.

Say:

“Today I choose to forgive me for carrying the pain and harm that was done to me. I release myself. I will no longer hold an account against myself. I forgive me.”

Now ask Who you connect with Spiritually (God, Creator, The Devine)

“Do You forgive me?”

And yes—The answer is always YES. 💛

Sit in the Surrender
Take a few deep breaths. Feel the release.
You did something radical.
You let go.
Not for them.
For you.

Note: If what they did to you keeps popping up in your mind remind yourself that you forgave them and they no longer get to have a hold on your mind or emotional state. YOU are free. 

This is how we think differently about health.
This is how we take our power back.
This is forgiveness.
TDAH! style.

If this blog was helpful please share to help others find freedom in forgiveness!