52 Going on 47

Happy 47th Birthday to Me! (Yes… You Read That Right!)

🎉 Chronologically, I’m 52 (turning 53 in September), but I just turned 47 this weekend.
And no, it’s not a typo. I’m aging backwards—and it’s not just about how I look. It’s about how I feel, how I live, and who I’ve become.

This weekend was magical—my daughter Ryan got married!!! (Yes, I’ll be spamming your feed with photos very soon… stay tuned.) Her wedding was AH-MAZING in every way. Love, laughter, beauty, and all the emotions.

But let’s be real: family and friend events like weddings come with layers. Emotional layers.

Back in 2019, at my daughter Natalie’s wedding, I carried a lot of relational tension and inner struggle. It was beautiful, yes—but emotionally hard. So leading into Ryan’s big day, I felt that same twinge creeping in.

I shared my heart with Bob, and his words stopped me in my tracks.
He looked at me and said,
“Babe, you can show up as whoever you want to be.”

I paused, tears filling my eyes, and I said:
“I’m going to show up as me. Polly.”
Because I’ve fought too hard for her.
I’ve spent years unlearning shame, shedding false versions of myself, and finally becoming me.
So I showed up. Fully. Unapologetically.
And y’all—I had a FREAKING BLAST.

I celebrated my daughter and her new husband.
I hugged old friends.
I had rich, real conversations with people who once made me feel small. (Not because of them but because of how I saw and felt about myself)
But I didn’t feel small anymore.
I felt free.
I felt powerful.
I felt like ME.

So Why Am I Telling You This?

Because my health journey hasn’t been about fitting into a smaller jean size.
It’s been about healing.
The deep, messy, radical kind.
Not just my body—but my mind and spirit, too.

For most of my life, I hated myself.
No matter how heavy or skinny I was, the inner narrative never changed.
I hated how I looked.
I hated how I felt.
I hated the thoughts that kept me imprisoned in my own skin.

And the truth is, I believed if I hated myself first, then it wouldn’t hurt so badly when others did.
I hated my body for the abuse I suffered.
I believed it was my body’s fault… that I was bad.
So I turned my back on it.
I thought disconnection meant safety.

But then I reached a breaking point.
Not because I wanted to look better.
But because I wanted to live.
I wanted to stop being shut out of my own life because of trauma.

I wanted to be whole.
I wanted to be Polly.

And as I leaned into healing—real healing—something wild happened:
I stopped dieting.
I started listening.
I stopped punishing.
I started honoring.

I discovered that true health is wholeness.
It’s not a number on the scale.
It’s knowing who you are and loving yourself there.

Today, I Can Say This with Full Joy:

I no longer have asthma.
I feel zero desire to drink alcohol to numb the pain (and if you know my story, you know that’s huge).
I feel fully alive in my skin.

And that, my friends, is why I’m 52 going on 47.

Because healing isn’t linear.
It’s transformational.
And today, I’m celebrating another year of choosing me.

So Happy NEW Birthday to Me! 🎂💃
Here’s to 47…
And here’s to you—if you're on your own healing path, I see you. You’re not too far gone, too broken, or too late.

You can heal.
You can come home to yourself.
And yes—you can even age backward. 😉